absolutely loved this (i mean, as ever, as always, ~as usual~). thank you for publishing it! i always look forward to yr updates.
i’ve been experimenting with living according to different “times” (or ways of marking time/experiencing time/imagining time, i guess) for a few years now. i always run into the same thought: “what use is this if i’m doing it on my own?” no answers, just a general canute-esque feeling, and a resounding “point taken” about the necessary inevitable frustrating glibness of all my attempts to think outside/against/without the hegemonic.
lol it wasn't intended to be pointed in that way. I liked your piece when it came out, I think I just had some nuances to add to it. the limits of what writers as individual subjects can do are very stark, & I feel them more as time goes on. I've been thinking more as well about the 'collective' element of the older avant-gardes (even when they're just "collectivities of two", as Braque & Picasso were). but then the people who obsess over their political potentiality aren't that helpful either, so who knows really
ahh no i didn’t take it pointedly! it’s a decent and interesting critique. big problem with that piece is it was written at a time when i was very much caught between two (at least) possibilities/ways of thinking about ~my work~ & where it fits, so whenever i read it back i just feel like it doesn’t know who it’s talking to. it was probably a last-ditch attempt to try and create some sort of political relationality. in the time that’s elapsed i really don’t feel part of any sort of shared relational political project or collective any more—not that my commitments have changed, just external stuff that’s out of my control. & i think some of the writing of that was trying to sort of will this inevitable disconnection to not be the case. standing on the shore and asking the sea very nicely to stop being a dickhead.
when extremely depressed a few months ago, i found myself retreating into my usual habit of reading about modernist groups/collectives. the thing that stood out for me this time was that they were mostly extremely posh and therefore already bonded together in some way by the glue of Polite Society, a mode of living that’s totally inaccessible to somebody like me. i can’t even imagine what it would be like to inhabit that world, or something similar!
i increasingly feel like maybe we just don’t know how our work will resonate politically, and maybe anything that isn’t “10 reasons to support your local postie” can’t have the sort of ‘immediate’ or direct effects i wish for. maybe it’s more like sowing mystery seeds: you’ve no idea whether they’ll sprout, or when, or what they’ll even become if they do, but maybe the slim possibility of something good growing from them is worth the effort? (also it’s not like i can stop trying anyway lol, fuckin masochism)
This is great thank you
absolutely loved this (i mean, as ever, as always, ~as usual~). thank you for publishing it! i always look forward to yr updates.
i’ve been experimenting with living according to different “times” (or ways of marking time/experiencing time/imagining time, i guess) for a few years now. i always run into the same thought: “what use is this if i’m doing it on my own?” no answers, just a general canute-esque feeling, and a resounding “point taken” about the necessary inevitable frustrating glibness of all my attempts to think outside/against/without the hegemonic.
lol it wasn't intended to be pointed in that way. I liked your piece when it came out, I think I just had some nuances to add to it. the limits of what writers as individual subjects can do are very stark, & I feel them more as time goes on. I've been thinking more as well about the 'collective' element of the older avant-gardes (even when they're just "collectivities of two", as Braque & Picasso were). but then the people who obsess over their political potentiality aren't that helpful either, so who knows really
ahh no i didn’t take it pointedly! it’s a decent and interesting critique. big problem with that piece is it was written at a time when i was very much caught between two (at least) possibilities/ways of thinking about ~my work~ & where it fits, so whenever i read it back i just feel like it doesn’t know who it’s talking to. it was probably a last-ditch attempt to try and create some sort of political relationality. in the time that’s elapsed i really don’t feel part of any sort of shared relational political project or collective any more—not that my commitments have changed, just external stuff that’s out of my control. & i think some of the writing of that was trying to sort of will this inevitable disconnection to not be the case. standing on the shore and asking the sea very nicely to stop being a dickhead.
when extremely depressed a few months ago, i found myself retreating into my usual habit of reading about modernist groups/collectives. the thing that stood out for me this time was that they were mostly extremely posh and therefore already bonded together in some way by the glue of Polite Society, a mode of living that’s totally inaccessible to somebody like me. i can’t even imagine what it would be like to inhabit that world, or something similar!
i increasingly feel like maybe we just don’t know how our work will resonate politically, and maybe anything that isn’t “10 reasons to support your local postie” can’t have the sort of ‘immediate’ or direct effects i wish for. maybe it’s more like sowing mystery seeds: you’ve no idea whether they’ll sprout, or when, or what they’ll even become if they do, but maybe the slim possibility of something good growing from them is worth the effort? (also it’s not like i can stop trying anyway lol, fuckin masochism)
this is too long, sorry!